Get It Off Your Chest

4 minutes ago, Dunn & Dunn said:

From what I've heard, it's only a problem if you're doing it nonstop, and/or it's getting in the way of your life.

 

This is one hell of a conversation

its not getting in the way of anything.

im completely happy with my current situation right now! *eye twitches* *neck twitches*

ehehehehe!

I play too much videogames, probably addiction, and now i have full online school.....
I have no idea what i'm supposed to do, i don't listen to lessons or do any homework most of the time even if i want to, i'm getting a lot of bad marks and yet i just keep playing without a worry in the world

1 hour ago, Deathclaw886 said:

i think i watch hentai a bit more than regular porn now....

Regular porn is something I myself absolutely never got into and never will. I just do not see the appeal, I think grotesque and disgusting :p .

But, if it's also art at the same time, results tend to be a bit different, hence my reaction to hentai which is not hostile, but still not my cup of tea.

1 hour ago, Dunn & Dunn said:

This is one hell of a conversation

Indeed, watch it go south from here, hehe.

Hopefully not.

2 hours ago, Dunn & Dunn said:

This is one hell of a conversation

yeah, this thread is "Get It Off Your Chest", not off from other parts of your body!

12 minutes ago, kalaeth said:

yeah, this thread is "Get It Off Your Chest", not off from other parts of your body!

Don't give us ideas :p .

On 12/14/2020 at 9:17 PM, HorrorMovieGuy said:

Honestly, I don't enjoy making gameplay mods anymore and I just wanna quit, but I have a lot of pending projects I have to finish.

Please don't stop! You made the Gothic Monsters mod, which is one of my favourite sprite/sound replacement mods for Doom for hell-themed levels.

I'm a lazy fucking piece of shit. Been that way since I graduated from high school. I just sit for hours and do nothing. The only reason why I still have a job is because I can complete my work in half the time my colleagues would. I do literally nothing productive the rest of the day. I turn 25 next month and I'm just throwing my life away. 

58 minutes ago, paturn said:

I'm a lazy fucking piece of shit. Been that way since I graduated from high school. I just sit for hours and do nothing. The only reason why I still have a job is because I can complete my work in half the time my colleagues would. I do literally nothing productive the rest of the day. I turn 25 next month and I'm just throwing my life away. 

I dunno man, you do have a job, so I wouldn't call you a non-productive person. I don't have even that yet.

11 hours ago, kalaeth said:

 

yeah, this thread is "Get It Off Your Chest", not off from other parts of your body!

oh yes, please continue..

11 hours ago, seed said:

 

Don't give us ideas :p .

i already have an idea, but none shall know

this thread has taken an unexpected turn.

48 minutes ago, seed said:

I don't have even that yet.

Hang in there mate, I had a gap of 2 and a half years after uni. I know exactly how it feels. Something will definitely come your way, even if it isn't exactly your dream job (mine most definitely isn't). 

54 minutes ago, seed said:

I dunno man, you do have a job, so I wouldn't call you a non-productive person. I don't have even that yet.

It's the only thing going for me atm, but it's a dead-end job. I just have to work about 25 hours a week and that too from home. Take out 50 hours of sleep, I simply cannot justify not doing anything in such a large amount of spare time. Doesn't have to be career-related, I started working out this month, but I have now missed 4 out of the last 6 days (including today).

 

8 hours ago, paturn said:

Hang in there mate, I had a gap of 2 and a half years after uni. I know exactly how it feels. Something will definitely come your way, even if it isn't exactly your dream job (mine most definitely isn't).

I know, it's just that with the ongoing pandemic it just got further complicated, as barely anyone is hiring now. Tried finding a job last year, that didn't work.

I'll see if something comes up this year. I don't have any preferences at this time anyway, I just need something since I'm growing old and the lack of experience is just going to complicate things even more down the road.

Outside of it, I'm not the most productive person either, most of that time went into streaming when I had my hands free, house work, exercising, and watching stuff in the evening. But can't wait for uni to be done once and for all, that alone was a giant pain in the ass and waste of five years of my life.

I feel like I have this unhealthy obsession with getting my work noticed once I put it out there. It's not because I want to get feedback or anything (although that is always appreciated) it's just my brain gets unreasonably happy when anything I made gets even the slightest bit of attention.

Like at least once a day I check youtube to see if anyone has made a video or done a livestream that had my map in it. 

I feel pathetic. Like I'm a child who just does all this for attention. I know that's not really true... I like the process of mapping from beginning to end. But once I actually put it out there I get really obsessive about seeing if anyone has even interacted with my thing, to the point that I can get really disappointed if they haven't.

On 1/22/2021 at 6:19 AM, HQDefault said:

I feel like I have this unhealthy obsession with getting my work noticed once I put it out there. It's not because I want to get feedback or anything (although that is always appreciated) it's just my brain gets unreasonably happy when anything I made gets even the slightest bit of attention.

Apologies for bumping the thread (although I feel like it could use a bump), but I am usually just like this.

Clone Hero and Doom alike, I've recently been feeling like I'm late to the party. It's almost a year now since I got into both these games. I've been making loads of charts for Clone Hero, but have been almost unable to get them out there, I'm really just enjoying the game by myself. That's mostly because a lot of the top-tier, renowned players have moved on. The community seems to be diminishing once again, and that's not their own fault.

Where Doom is concerned I'm having a great time watching videos, talking with people on the Hellforge and all, watching people like decino and MtPain grow, but getting out there? Putting a lot of work into my maps and trying to get them "published" and played by others? Proven unlikely relatively-speaking, and that's kinda disappointing. This might sound pretty self-centered, I admit. But it sucks when you discover such great games and communities that seem to have already had their high points.

Well, that's one thing off my chest. What about you guys?

.

4 hours ago, Dunn & Dunn said:

 

Apologies for bumping the thread (although I feel like it could use a bump), but I am usually just like this.

 

Clone Hero and Doom alike, I've recently been feeling like I'm late to the party. It's almost a year now since I got into both these games. I've been making loads of charts for Clone Hero, but have been almost unable to get them out there, I'm really just enjoying the game by myself. That's mostly because a lot of the top-tier, renowned players have moved on. The community seems to be diminishing once again, and that's not their own fault.

 

Where Doom is concerned I'm having a great time watching videos, talking with people on the Hellforge and all, watching people like decino and MtPain grow, but getting out there? Putting a lot of work into my maps and trying to get them "published" and played by others? Proven unlikely relatively-speaking, and that's kinda disappointing. This might sound pretty self-centered, I admit. But it sucks when you discover such great games and communities that seem to have already had their high points.

 

Well, that's one thing off my chest. What about you guys?

I feel that way about clone hero too. Once I got my hands on the game and started getting good at it, it seemed like the whole scene started to quiet down. Meme videos from people like acai, ukog, jasonparadise and others dont get as much views as they did like in 2017-18 and I miss that era. I guess because it was new it was interesting for a lot of people and now its worn its welcome, but I still enjoy playing the game and watching lots of videos and stuff.

As for getting something off my chest, I could try shaving the hair off but then it would look strange with my arms and legs so I think I'll keep it on my chest ;)

I keep having these intrusive thoughts that never end. 24/7.

And it's not anxiety thoughts, it usually takes the form of someone/something who isn't real, standing next to me, following me, annoying the shit outta me.

I feel like i'm gonna be consumed by it. I'm often swinging at the air, (so as to just hit these people who aren't real so they kind of just disappear, often making some shitty remark on the way out.) 

Or i'm just hitting things, because it FEELS like it's talking shit to me or doing other bizarre stuff.

Also, i also have these feelings of being watched, or that everyone's out to get me.

I'll always feel horrible and/or really uneasy, no matter how much medication i take.

I don't know what to do.

9 hours ago, cracky-bracky said:

I don't know what to do.

 

Hey, was reading your post and the first thing that came to my mind was this problem might be paranormal rather than mental. Have you lost anyone close to you recently or dabbled with the occult? There is also a chance you are psychic sensitive, have you always had this problem or has it just started recently? 

I'm not strictly religious but I often go to church with my mother to support her, this also gives me a chance to clean myself of any negative spirits that might of attached itself to me. So a short visit to a church might help things. 

I've experienced some of what you've described and I've learnt to block and shield from the bad effects. 

I've felt presences behind me, to the left and right of me and when I've walked into empty rooms, black shapes moving just out of eyesight and voices or strange noises when there should be none and it still happens to this day.

You'll have to learn to ignore it or laugh it off. By letting these things stress you out and make you swing at them is feeding them and making them stronger if their negative. 

Take all this with a pince of salt or call me a nutter, It doesn't bother me. 

My screen has shat it’s self and is pressing buttons / doing whatever by itself and it is really, really pissing me off 🤬 Takes me like 30 minutes to write a simple bloody message! Grrrrr 🤬

13 hours ago, cracky-bracky said:

I keep having these intrusive thoughts that never end. 24/7.

And it's not anxiety thoughts, it usually takes the form of someone/something who isn't real, standing next to me, following me, annoying the shit outta me.

I feel like i'm gonna be consumed by it. I'm often swinging at the air, (so as to just hit these people who aren't real so they kind of just disappear, often making some shitty remark on the way out.) 

Or i'm just hitting things, because it FEELS like it's talking shit to me or doing other bizarre stuff.

 

Also, i also have these feelings of being watched, or that everyone's out to get me.

I'll always feel horrible and/or really uneasy, no matter how much medication i take.

I don't know what to do.

 

First of all, don’t stress! I know from experience how real and frightening seeing / hearing things that aren’t there can be.

There are 2 main things I can think of:

1. If you use a lot of stimulants (no need to say yay or nay here), it could be stimulant psychosis. Generally this can be “fixed” by laying off for a while but your doc might be able to prescribe you something short term to help :-)

2. If you haven’t been using a lot of stimulants, have a chat with your doc. Those sound almost like text book symptoms of schizophrenia. That might sound really scary but it’s really not something to be scared of :-) I’ve got a couple of mates with it and they just have to take a couple of pills a day and they are all good :-) Plus schizophrenics are often extremely creative people so you would be amazed at all the musicians and artists who had it / live with it :-)

Regardless, have a chat with your doc :-) It could be something else all together but just remember again, don’t stress! Some times it can take them a little while to work it out and some of the meds can take a little while to start working but they will get you there in the end :-)

Hope that helps :-D

13 hours ago, cracky-bracky said:

I keep having these intrusive thoughts that never end. 24/7.

And it's not anxiety thoughts, it usually takes the form of someone/something who isn't real, standing next to me, following me, annoying the shit outta me.

I feel like i'm gonna be consumed by it. I'm often swinging at the air, (so as to just hit these people who aren't real so they kind of just disappear, often making some shitty remark on the way out.) 

Or i'm just hitting things, because it FEELS like it's talking shit to me or doing other bizarre stuff.

 

Also, i also have these feelings of being watched, or that everyone's out to get me.

I'll always feel horrible and/or really uneasy, no matter how much medication i take.

I don't know what to do.

 

I don't want to pry but that sounds like Paranoid Schizophrenia.

There are two cases in my life where I knew them well and they both suffered from this. The first one I won't discuss because it's a depressing tale and ended in tragedy.

However, the second person battled with it for years and everything you said is exactly how he described it. There was a happy ending in his case though, he got it under control but it took him some time. I'm well aware that there is no cure for it, but he's fine these days. Mostly because he ditched the drugs (actual drugs, not the meds).

Although he did mention most of the battle was within his head and he developed a mindset to tackle it. But I don't want to turn this into one of my 'wall of letters' so I'll stop rambling.

I'm not saying you have schizophrenia, but many of the symptoms you describe sound very similar.

Edit: @DooM Bear beat me to it.

I feel nothing but pure unadulterated anger and rage, with a layer of depression over it. I've been oversleeping, I've skipped a whole goddamn week of class because in spite of sleeping at 8-10pm, I still wake up at 10am, and at that point I just really don't care. Usually, my routine is to just smoke cigarettes, listen to music or play some guitar, and wait for the day to be over, so I can finally justify going back to sleep. I don't even play many video games anymore. I hate the warming weather too. Every single damn time when the weather warms up, I hit a real depressive phase. And these last two depressive phases have been really, really bad for me because of coronashit.

2 hours ago, Reelvonic said:

oh god where do i begin

 

i hate everyone people are dumb. my house is a mess but i refuse to clean it. my dog died i only have my two cats one is close to death. its always crap on the news about people dying, or police killing people. then theres the looting rioting and burning of stuff. my fucking medication never works. im allergic to my sweat or physical activity,(its weird i get a rash whenever im up and moving) i have a porn problem but im too afraid to delete my 2 gigabytes worth of furry porn so its just sitting there.

ive let myself go food wise because im that person who can eat all they want and stay skinny. so all i do is eat junk food. plus i cant have dairy so nothing even good.

ive pretty much blocked off access to the outside world and my only friends are doom and old cartoons. i try to start a project like a doom mod or something art releated but stop half way through due to depression and thinking that it will turn out stupid. i get 3 hours of sleep a night average. the more i think about it the more it seems that life is dumb. and many more stuff that im not going to mention here.

 

so id say im doing pretty good

Bro don´t let others expectations ruin your work mood, do what you wanna do just for the sake of it.

And delete that furry porn.

If I made a thread asking if people in Doom world are content in life, would anyone reply?

Maybe I'm the black sheep of the community.

36 minutes ago, Chezza said:

If I made a thread asking if people in Doom world are content in life, would anyone reply?

 

Maybe I'm the black sheep of the community.

It's funny. I'm living in Venezuela  at the moment, and even if we are in a shitfest at the moment.

-I'm glad for every friend i have.

-I'm glad for every 3 o 4$ that i can win at least in 3 days.

-I'm glad i can still find myself happy with my hobbies and stuff.

Im a little sad that i can't study at the moment, or don't have the tools to go out of this country. But im happy to be alive, and know that when this  end, i will see many friends and family again.

I'm fucking tired of all these "Quake inspired boomer shooters" that keep coming out. Oh wow, everything is low poly, there's a powerful shotgun, everything moves fast including you, I'm so impressed. Even the new Postal game coming out next year is one of these types of games and if you showed me gameplay of it without telling me what franchise it was from I'd be completely stumped. These are all just blending in with each other. It's like every indie game being a "dungeon crawling rogue like" a few years ago.

I have been diagnosed with a chronic bowel disease.

I won't go into detail but it won't kill me but it would be nice if it did.

my bulimia is getting worse and worse, and i honestly have no idea what to do. when i was still on 30mg of adderall it was getting so much better, i actually felt like i could get through the day without the urge to binge and then purge, but now that i had to switch psychiatrists and this new one is starting me off on only 10mg it's gotten really bad again

idk what to do, it's already bad enough that my adhd isn't fully under control but now this shit is making me feel even worse. i don't wanna get to the point where i'm barely able to walk without running out of breath and puking cuz of low potassium levels again

my hair is already thinning from this, and that in turn has made my gender dysphoria even worse. it feels like my life is gonna fall apart completely 

Sometimes I think I'm just TOO cool.  Like, universe-bendingly awesome, and that I'm a danger to people around me

On 1/12/2021 at 10:14 PM, pilottobombadier said:

That said, pet ownership is way better than being alone right now.  By far.  I have a wife, I have two cats, and I would rather have that right now than nothing.  I'd prefer a wife and one dog, but I'll take what I can get.

Personally, I vehemently disagree with this opinion. I think I would've gone crazy during the pandemic if I would've had a pet to take care of. I prefer being alone or with other humans. Not interested in taking care of an animal's waste / smell / sounds / needs either. Plus I have WAY more freedom by not being chained to a pet in my life. I also save a lot of money by not having to buy food / potential medical bills for a pet. 

Yeah, owning a pet is not my jam. I'll appreciate others' pets, but I don't want my own.

Just because you have barb wire tattoos doesn't mean you're a badass. 

11 hours ago, PSXDoomer said:

Just because you have barb wire tattoos doesn't mean you're a badass. 

What about if you have the Angel of Death on your left forearm? Does that qualify?