What would you get Doomguy for Christmas?

The first thing that came up to mind was already gifted by somebody else. Weapons, ammo, secret items, a pet... the rest.

But you know, all this demon killing must be a bit tiring to do all.. year? Decades? Eh whatever. I'd give him a six-pack of Alpine Spew.

Gotta stay hydrated!

4 hours ago, Gez said:

then the obvious choice will be the arch-vile.

Nah, they look to stringy.

Mancubus way too fattening, revenant to bony.  

Aracnotron would be real rich tasting though, I bet

I'll gift him the movie Army of Darkness. I think he would appreciate the use of shotgun and chainsaw.

A BFG-9000.

or an Unmaker.

or for lulz, any other Ultimate weapon from any of the other Doom engine games.

I would Shine His Guns.

A link to Doomworld, that way the poor fucker gets to feel like Jim Carrey on The Truman Show when he realizes that he only exists to entertain us. I'd also get him a razor to shave his hairy-ass arms and a coupon for plastic surgery because he's ugly as hell. Merry Christmas Doomguy!  

new rabbit obviously

his old meathook ssg from 2020

I would give him a brand-new gun, the SUPER-SHOTGUN CHAINGUN!

a day off

A ticket to that one weird theme park.

A Megasphere

A super backpack containing all kind of items and full load of ammo.

A new bnuuy.

On 12/24/2022 at 3:46 PM, TheHambourgeois said:

a day off

Nah. He's killed bajilllions of demons. He deserves at least the weekend off.

A heavily armored sledge, pulled by twelve Lost Souls.

Very strong liquor. I think he needs it after everything he's been through lol

A fucking break.

20 bucks, for good measure

A wig. Hot damn Doomguy, what the hell is this by-mama's-hands' hairdo?!

A set of gel in-soles for his boots. For how long he's been on his feet, those dogs have got to be barking.

Coal made from compressed Deamon Hearts...

Beta BFG 9000, also known as "Christmas gun".

Super Shotgun

A sound suppressor for both the chain and plasma guns.

On 12/18/2022 at 1:40 AM, spineapple tea said:

A hug.

fuck, I was gonna say that!

I guess my only other choice is to get him an air fryer...