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EraserheadBaby

Times you've talked to the police

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I'll start because I'm an egocentric prick who started a thread to tell this story.  If this thread takes off, I sincerely doubt many of them will be as light-hearted as this one. 

 

      Tonight, a couple of cops came into the head shop I work in.  A 6'4" chubby muscles black guy and a 5'8" fit, freckled ginger.  Both early 20's, wearing cop hats and little tactical vests. The tall guy asks me if we have any "non-nicotine" vapes.  I know he means 0% nicotine, but we also sell a bunch of weed stuff.  And that's non-nicotine. I escorted them to that side of the store.  The officer looked at weed vapes and electric smoking apparatuses for about a solid minute before he realized he was in the dope section.  He shuffled back from the counter mumblin' "Oh no, I can't do that".  And his buddy chimes in sayin' "My sister says it helps her a lot with her arthritis."

 

       So anyway, he wanted a disposable nicotine free vape.  A battery powered lollipop.  Which we don't sell, because we are serious people.  So the cop gets a vape with nicotine and we go up to the register.  At this point, I start eyeballin' the big man pretty hard and I say "Officer, I need to see your ID".  And he doesn't have it.  He gave me a "C'mon man".  Sorry.  His little friend got this ear to ear, shit eatin' grin on his face and immediately produced his ID but would buy nothing for the man.  Meanwhile, big boy is lookin' through his phone, tryin' to find a picture of his ID.  So I ask him "Is that even legal?  Forgive my ignorance.  I'm asking because you're a police officer so I figured you'd know and need to tell me."  He assured me is was, but the search continued.

 

      It went on like this for about 3 solid minutes.  During which time, I performed Zelda's Lullaby on my ocarina and hit it off with the little guy.  So I asked him, "Can you vouch for your friend?  Is that legal?"  The ginger shrugs.  Then I looked the soon to be nicotine addict in the eyes and asked,  "If he vouches for you, are you gonna fuck with me?"

 

      The tall guy got a bit flabbergasted. "What, uh, no no" and started moving through his phone faster, fumbling with it a bit.  All the while his brother in arms was cheesin' out and shakin' his head at the floor.  He found a picture of his ID.  1997.  The officer bought his vape.  I told them to be safe out there, and they said good night.  Then they chilled in their cruiser out the in the parking lot for 5 minutes.  Which is kind of creepy, but the guy was probably trying to figure out the battery powered piece of garbage he just purchased.   

 

To be fair, these are not hardened city police officers.  It's a small town.  A wide spot in the road.  Still, I had fun.  I really felt like myself today.

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Last time I spoke to police was, IIRC, in a local state park. We were in the "prairie loop" trail (somewhere around here), relatively high up (by Minnesota standards) with long views in all directions. Very few other people around. Vehicle appeared in the distance on the walking trail. A little odd, but park ranger vehicles sometimes do so, but not generally on this one. (Ruining our deer count, damn it!) But it soon became clear it was a police vehicle. When they reached us, they asked if we had seen two people who looked out of place in some way. Well, we hadn't seen anyone for ages, and the few people we had seen in the park in the last couple of hours had looked like ordinary hikers. Tried to get some information about in what way odd (someone abducted? lost? Alzheimers patient wandering around disorientated?) but they weren't divulging much. When we later got back to the parking lot, there were a few other police vehicles, and other police going into the park. This was around sunset by this point. We told them we hadn't seen anyone else since they had spoken to us.

 

Later looked on local news sites and local police web sites, but no indication about what the situation had been. So that was that. Yeah, cool story and stuff.

 

Otherwise just routine stuff. There was one time when I was going to be a witness in some minor court case, but the defendant didn't show up. I don't think I had actually spoken to any police then, but just given a written statement at the request of the aggrieved party.

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Cop Story:

Burglar broke into my house and stole some stuff, including a silver ring. I went to the cops and provided them with pictures of the stuff that they stole. They said they have a known suspect on camera breaking into other houses in the area. Arrest is made.

 

Eventually they seize all the stuff the burglar stole. They present the evidence, including the silver ring. Something feels very off though. I strongly suspect that the silver ring they presented is fabricated evidence. I think the cops bought an exact copy of the silver ring and placed it in evidence to stack up charges against the burglar.

 

It is impossible to confirm whether the silver ring is actually mine because it was bought at the same store. They weren't able to recover any other stolen item of mine, besides the silver ring which happens to be a mass-produced item.

 

So basically, it's very likely that they couldn't find MY burglar and instead just stuck the charges on another burglar that happened to get caught.

The cops around here are basically just a state-sanctioned mafia. They probably make deals with all the other organized crime rings in the city.

Edited by RDETalus

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i dont

 

and neither should you

 

reminder that cops do not have a legal right for anything from you besides your drivers license if you're in a vehicle that's switched on that you're clearly driving, and they ain't out there to help you. for them, imprisoning someone is just business - they don't care about guilt or innocence.

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When I broke up with my gf last year, she reported me just to make a big stink. I got nervous and avoided the detective for a day, but when I actually talked to him the conversation was basically,

 

"Your ex seems crazy, maybe you should avoid her?"

"Yeah, I agree."

"Great! Thanks for your statement bye!"

 

Shit was cash. I work a legal job so the ones I encounter in the field are all bros, but I generally avoid them like everyone else, so I barely make smalltalk. 

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I had one police chase while on a scooter at night. One of my mirrors was broken and they were patrolling around the streets and houses.

Every alley I went and turned to they seemed to appear on the street ahead. 

 

I noticed that they clearly were after me, so I put my lights off, parked my scooter somewhere in a dark corner and went further on foot. I observed there was a police van parked on a bridge with lights on aswell, it was the bridge that I always had to take in order to reach to my home. I saw them parked for literally an hour or so what seemed like an eternity all the while I searched for other pathways to reach back to my place. 

 

I was already thinking of just leaving my scooter there and going back on foot the next day to retrieve it (which is a long ass way) and I even found an alternative path that led me through the old industrial area. So after all that walking and observing I finally found out the fuckers left the bridge, and ran as soon as I could back to my scooter and raced towards home.

 

It was 1:30 am at night (during december) when I finally reached home, hungry and tired. For context, this took place during the 2020/2021 covid pandemic.

 

I'm so fucking glad my current job is entirely from home.

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15 hours ago, act said:

i dont

 

and neither should you

 

 

Apart from the times where it just paints more of a target on your back. 

 

There was a park near where I used to live that the police would stop by fairly often for obvious reasons. One time, I'm walking back and forth down the road a couple of times since there was little opportunity to be outside otherwise, they see me, talk to me and ask for my ID.

 

Now I know I'm not obligated to have it, but I realized at a certain point it would make for less reason to be hassled.

 

Back to the story though, they attempted the eye-rolling 'good cop, bad cop" routine, I pointed to the house I lived in, they walked with me to one of the doors and thank god my dad was sitting in a chair nearby because if he'd had to deal with me getting taken on some suspicion of vagrancy bullshit, he would be PISSED (mostly at the police, but you know...)

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1 minute ago, LadyMistDragon said:

Apart from the times where it just paints more of a target on your back. 

 

There was a park near where I used to live that the police would stop by fairly often for obvious reasons. One time, I'm walking back and forth down the road a couple of times since there was little opportunity to be outside otherwise, they see me, talk to me and ask for my ID.

 

Now I know I'm not obligated to have it, but I realized at a certain point it would make for less reason to be hassled.

 

Back to the story though, they attempted the eye-rolling 'good cop, bad cop" routine, I pointed to the house I lived in, they walked with me to one of the doors and thank god my dad was sitting in a chair nearby because if he'd had to deal with me getting taken on some suspicion of vagrancy bullshit, he would be PISSED (mostly at the police, but you know...)

hey man if they wanna fuck around they can find out with a lawsuit

 

dont talk to cops simple as that, you have the right to remain silent

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11 minutes ago, Rudolph said:

You know what they say: "Fuck The Police"

 

And yes, I know the song contains some homophobic lyrics. Why, Ice Cube, why...

hey now, this is a bit of a hot take but i don't really care if someone's homophobic in a song. specially if it comes along with a much more important message. specially specially if it comes from a group of people who are homophobic, like the police. and keep in mind this is coming from someone who uh, lets just say knows what a rainbow of handkerchiefs in a back pocket mean, and has had a key with those like rings on them on his wrist for a few hours.

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Oh yeah, the line in question does not take away from the song's overall message. Otherwise, I would not be sharing it here! :P

 

I just felt like pointing it out in case it might bother some people. You know, content warning and all.

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most recent ones:

 

-time when my old housemate was reported for domestic abuse when he had some stupid argument with his gf in public, two cops showed up when he wasn't around and questioned me and acted like pricks, I sorta understand if they thought they were dealing with some guy who hits girls but I still wanted to tell them to fuck off

 

-time when we got robbed and a cop came to do interviews, nice chill guy and we got most of the stuff back

 

-time when I was asleep and a female cop just tried my door and walked into my living room, asked if I saw some disturbance near my house, apparently they can just do that if they feel like it?

 

On the whole my personal interactions with cops have been about 50/50 good/bad but I still prefer having plenty of cops around in my area rather than not enough.

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About a decade ago, there was a massive fire two doors down from us. Was an... interesting night.

 

Few days later, cops came over. They noted we have security cameras on the outside of our house, and asked if they could look through our footage to see if we had anything from around the time the fire happened.

 

We did - shortly before the fire broke out, there was a guy who they thought was suspicious caught walking past our house. They took a USB stick, dumped our footage (and that of a few of our neighbors), and left.

 

Eventually, we found out that our footage gave them some of the clearest images of the guy, that he was their suspect, and they arrested, tried, and convicted him. As it turned out, it was more than a fire - it was a murder. He killed our neighbor, committed arson by setting the house on fire to try to cover it up, and our neighbor's dog died in the resulting fire.

 

He's doing 20-to-life for second-degree murder.

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Funny coincidence, I read recently that almost half of cops admit to trying to get vape shop owners arrested on technicalities. Google "40% of police" if you don't believe me.

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Last time I spoke to the police was about 4 months ago when I visited the station to renew my ID.

 

That's... it really. I've had a fairly cop free life.

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33 minutes ago, Bucket said:

Funny coincidence, I read recently that almost half of cops admit to trying to get vape shop owners arrested on technicalities. Google "40% of police" if you don't believe me.

 

Due to constant internet exposure, now whenever I see someone say "Google <thing> to find out more" I automatically assume that googling that will give me some weird porn.

 

As for my interactions with the police, nothing really noteworthy. I was walking to a place and I forgot how to get there so I went up to a police that was just nearby and asked him for directions. He told me how to get to where I wanted to go and then I went about my day.

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5 minutes ago, Andrea Rovenski said:

they were out past curfew so i was gently reminding them

Good job! 

I live in Asia. In 2020 one policeman asked me why I not wear a mask? I said "Because I want you to see me smiling" And gave him a big smile. 
He was laughing and moved on. 

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I've been arrested multiple times for crimes that weren't me, I live in a shithole afterall.

 

Needless to say I have learnt to not speak candidly, I have a clear criminal record and aim to always do, they're there to catch a collar and they'll get you on literally anything they can.

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1 hour ago, mrthejoshmon said:

I've been arrested multiple times for crimes that weren't me, I live in a shithole afterall.

 

Needless to say I have learnt to not speak candidly, I have a clear criminal record and aim to always do, they're there to catch a collar and they'll get you on literally anything they can.

I'm sorry that's happened to you. The cops where I live are the same way. Not all cops are bad tho. Ours prefer to pick on the elderly and those who can't defend themselves. Ijust do my bet to ignore them. Best of luck to you and I hope you have a good Christmas and New Year. :)

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The other evening at work when I was helping someone outside and then was heading back inside, a police car stopped at the stop sign and it caught me off guard a bit, as I was going to keep walking, but I was going to let him keep going. He proceeds to roll the window down, tells me he wanted to ask me a question. I was a bit worried that maybe he was looking for someone, so I walk up to him. I was thinking of so many scenarios and possibilities of what he was going to ask in that split second, so I start listening... He just asked if those plastic tabs on the boots he bought in store were security tabs and if there would be a way to take them off. I replied "Ah yeah, I would double check with the guys at the front of the store." Of course, some of my coworkers caught that and were joking about it, saying "Ah nawww, whatchu did my guy?!?!" :D

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