Freedoom Story

[Wereknight]

So I wrote some raw material for possible short story for readme

"AGM greets you and wish you die as usual! As a former prisoner you belong to us so shut up and listen. Your task today is to help our noble science on some shitty outpost today. Which one we will never tell to ya 'cause you should be delivered as pinata. Don't mind, just deal with it.

Grab your rusty pistol and prepare your butt to unforgetable unforgivable adventure! MADNESS AWAITS!"

Yup, sounds like Terry.

[Zerthex]

Voros said:

Phase 1 and 2 have been around for so long, that its become a classic. It is its identity now.

Whoops, triple post.

We should deside on what fdoomguy's name is.

[Wereknight]

Zerthex said:

We should deside on what fdoomguy's name is.

Huh? Does it really that important what the protagonist' name is?

Do I need to remind those Carmack immortal words?

[Zerthex]

CWolf said:

Huh? Does it really that important what the protagonist' name is?

Do I need to remind those Carmack immortal words?

Heh... well in the story he needs a name.

[Voros]

Zerthex said:

Heh... well in the story he needs a name.

No he doesn't. I forbid it.

FDoomguy is YOU.

[Voros]

Added a third draft for Phase 1.

@CWolf yeah sounds like terrytrap.

[Impie]

Arctangent said:

Seems more of a tsundere to me, to be honest.

When a character is defined by their archetype and nothing more, they become a cliché. This isn't usually an issue for some mostly unimportant side character - really, there's no reason not to just make those an easily recognizable archetype - but the main character's love interest? There's going to need to be a helluva a lot more characterization for her to stop being a walking cliché.

Especially when it's an woman - especially one that the work goes out of its way to make conventionally attractive - and it's blatantly obvious that she just exists for the main character to hook up with by the end. That can easily turn the character into a walking cliché, especially if she ever become a damsel in distress.

i had no intention of making her a love interest. you're the one making that assumption based on her gender. i mean the guy's going to prison forever. he'll flirt with anything on two legs.

but whatever. seems like everyone involved has a different idea of what they want for the story, so i will leave it to you guys.

[Voros]

^well

1-shes a sexy lady (which you clearly specified)

2-FDoomguy technically flirted with her ("i prefer redheads")

Ive only seen one member here who actually gave a different story. Lets wait for the rest. Dont leave yet.

Everyone's opinion matters.

Spoiler

The simple fact is that people will pay you attention if they think your offering + your hassle are worth their attention.
You need to create a world that someone other than you will have fun in and you need to be a good host to everyone who visits.
You need a world that will welcome your fans with open arms.
You need to build a world people can live & play in.
And you and your world need to appreciate your fans just for showing up.
Because this is exactly what the big fish do.

Spoiler

Nobody owes you success.

Nobody is under any obligation to pay anything you produce a second glance or support or promote it in any way.
Nobody is spiting or robbing you by not giving you a like or a reblog or a follow.
Every single gesture of appreciation you receive from someone is a courtesy - a gift that you earn, not a right you’re entitled to.
It is not the job of your audience to love your work. It is your job to make it lovable. And just because you are working really hard does not mean you are working in the right direction.
I know that thousands upon thousands of artists put hours or months or years into a project and feel like they get nothing in return. Sometimes it is not how hard you’re working but what you’re working for that is the problem.
Sometimes you need to slow down and think, “Do I have to have this just so? What would the kind of person interested in my work be looking for, and where can I address it? Am I maybe taking myself and my work a little too seriously?”
And a lot of artists don’t realize that as an amateur, you are the sole proprietor - you are your art. Whether people like you determines whether they like your art

Spoiler

Your art should teach you as much as or more than it teaches others: If you claim your art opens horizons and widens minds, yours should be the first priority. You cannot speak without listening. You are not a righteous prophet enlightening the heathens with the true word. You are one humble person and your art is one humble person’s story.
There are no new stories, but there are always new storytellers. That amazing idea you have that nobody’s ever thought of before? Someone has. But nobody has told the story your way, or drawn the character your way, or sung the song your way. Art is not about being new. It is about being you.
Popular art is all about the beholder. All these shows and games with so much fan art? They got to that level because they command a personal investment from and serve the viewer - they have worlds their fans want to be part of, and your canon will be swept aside along the way. You the artist are not a god or a wise sage. You are a guide and a footman. To be an artist is to be humanity’s servant, not its lord - and there’s no shame in that.
Most of your fans are not artists or art critics. While there will be a good number of them in your fanbase, the vast majority are not going to be super-open-minded creative thinkers who value every single opinion, outlook, and story just because it’s done technically well. They will be ordinary people with ordinary, selfish interests, and they will care about your content more than your talent. You have to balance what you want to draw with what everyone wants to see.

Good stuff.

[Impie]

i realize all that, but its frustrating to keep having people tell me not to write a novel, but not to use archetypes. either i keep it short or i flesh it out. i can try again from scratch but i think it'd be met with the same problems unless i make it as short and generic as possible.

and maybe i don't have it in me to collaberate at the moment after all. dealing with a lot of irl bullshit and thought this would help. it shouldn't be bothering me this much but for some reason it is.

[Voros]

Impie said:

i can try again from scratch but i think it'd be met with the same problems unless i make it as short and generic as possible.

You never know until you see it for yourself.

I dont see how keeping it short makes it generic. It can be long, but not TOO long.

Btw, what happened to the update?

[Zerthex]

Voros said:

No he doesn't. I forbid it.

FDoomguy is YOU.

In the freedoom story he needs a name. Like how in the doom storys doomguy is called flynn taggart. But in the games the player is you.

[Voros]

Zerthex said:

In the freedoom story he needs a name. Like how in the doom storys doomguy is called flynn taggart. But in the games the player is you.

That was in seperate novel!

We're talking about the story in the game's README.

Maybe thats it Impie. Your story sounds like the beginning of a novel rather than some small backstory.

[Zerthex]

if freedoomguy WAS going to have a name i suggest kulak... or davis kane.

[Voros]

Zerthex said:

if freedoomguy WAS going to have a name i suggest kulak... or davis kane.

Wrong thread.

This thread is for developing Freedoom's game story.

[Zerthex]

Voros said:

Wrong thread.

This thread is for developing Freedoom's game story.

ok then...

[Voros]

Second draft for Phase 2 added.

[Voros]

Btw here are the intermission screens i submitted BEFORE i started thinking about the story.
https://github.com/freedoom/freedoom/pull/273

[Voros]

Darn it triple post

How is this for the MAP30's story screen?

Spoiler

The gigantic beast becomes unstable. Its final roar echoes throughout the room till it crumples in a billow of smoke and a pool of blood and metal.

A portal opens up, and in it, you see a small town. You went in, forgetting the past. Hopefully, humanity learned its lesson and won't be needing you again.

No one will know know who saved them. No one will know what happened here. No one will ever find you.

Its a first draft.

[YukiHerz]

Simple Draft if it's of any help:

"Phase 1: Subtitle"

Spoiler

Walking off the incubation tube, chained, the lonely doctor salutes you, testing if the knowledge drive is working, you make an assertive nod and proceed to slam her skull against the table, ending her misery, for in your eyes all employees of AGM are evil, and you were specifically made to fight against evil.

You cover your body with the armor of a deceased AGM guard and grab his rail pistol, the knowledge drive kicks in to fill you in with all that had happened, a quick glance reveals that AGM was commiting crimes such as illegal human and animal DNA experimentation and dealing with the trade of secrets between 1st World Countries, they used their access to information to learn about the origins of mankind and the fate of the lizardmen, which they've brought back to life after a millenary scheme to escape their doomed destiny, unknown to them, the lizard race just wanted to use mankind as a global-spread livestock, and seize Earth for themselves.

After consulting with the Knowledge Drive, you decide there's no more time to lose, it is time to initiate your crusade against the Lizardmen legions in order to preserve mankind and its history, as while they have done wrong, you still owe them for your creation.

Pretty corny stuff i wrote :V

[Voros]

Been messing around with the intermission screens in Freedoom's DeHacked lump, to add better story screens. This time, they will fill the entire screen rather than half of it!

[Voros]

Come on people, we need feedback!

Also i finished adding the intermission screens in the DeHacked lump.

But im not exactly happy with some of them, as I believe it lacks description.

[MrFlibble]

Voros said:

But im not exactly happy with some of them, as I believe it lacks description.

Actually I think it's a good idea to leave some ambiguity, so that Freedoom does have a narration but is still open to interpretation from the players.

You guys have written some neat stories. Voros, your stuff stylistically resembles the original Doom texts more, while Impie could do a literary adaptation (novel? short story? novella?). They don't have to completely match in content, actually.

In fact, I believe that having several different background stories/plots without designating any of them "true" canon could add some depth/originality to the game by underscoring its collectively created nature. We could actually collect all the different plot lines that had been discussed in the past (there are some lengthy texts BTW) and include them in the readme/distribution. Let the players pick the story they like, or enjoy them all if they want to.

Here's some threads with proposed storylines (and related discussions) I just found by quick Googling:
https://www.doomworld.com/vb/freedoom/44138-plot/
https://www.doomworld.com/vb/freedoom/9213-another-possible-episode-1-story/
https://www.doomworld.com/vb/freedoom/67342-freedoom-back-story/
https://www.doomworld.com/vb/freedoom/44577-plot-for-freedoom-and-others/
https://www.doomworld.com/vb/freedoom/74299-the-story-and-theme/
https://www.doomworld.com/vb/freedoom/62224-story/
https://www.doomworld.com/vb/freedoom/47302-what-does-agm-stand-for/
https://www.doomworld.com/vb/freedoom/70531-monster-taxonomy/
https://www.doomworld.com/vb/freedoom/70761-on-the-subject-of-hell/

[Voros]

I too believe Impie's story fits for some kind of Freedoom novel, rather than a simple backstory.

Im trying to keep things simple, so yeah it does resemble Doom's style :P

[Voros]

fraggle said:

I'd really like to see a back story put in place because there are various things that are becoming difficult to complete without some kind of story, even a vague, loose one. Examples are the Episode 1/2/3 names and the end-of-episode story text (which currently basically just says "well done! now play the next episode.")

We already have some elements that suggest a story and we should try to weave in:

AGM: The big bad evil company. This actually plays into the project's free software/open source nature (which is often perceived as anti-corporate)

The title screen: Shows someone breaking chains to become free (Freedoom = freedom). Presumably this is the protagonist. What is he breaking free from?

Other artwork: Where do the monsters come from? I'd really like for the answer to not be "hell". Let's do something original. What is the final boss skull?

The levels: we seem to have established that Freedoom Phase 2 takes place on Earth. Phase 1, it's not so clear.

Intermission screen text: I wrote some short texts for the intermission screens in Phase 2. These can be changed but maybe there's something in there that people will find useful.

So fraggle wrote Phase 2's intermission screens.

Anyway, these are good questions.

My proposal:
-monsters are made by AGM.
-boss skull is the being that allowed AGM to make the monster.
-Phase 1 takes places on the Moon.
-FDoomguy wants to break free from AGM.

[Impie]

I'm glad this is still being discussed.

Sorry for being short with everyone before. It's been one heap of shit after another over in my neck of the woods (medical shit, life shit, girl trouble, etc), but it's been easing up a bit and I'm feeling a bit more civil now. Hope there are no hard feelings.

[Voros]

Glad you're back
:)

[Voros]

In case anyone's interested, here's the DeHacked lump I added the intermission screens in.

Download it and rename it to DEH. It should work.

https://github.com/Voros2/freedoom/blob/Voros2-patch-4/lumps/dehacked.lmp

[Voros]

A message to chungy, fraggle and Jon: are any of the proposed stories in this thread applicable for Freedoom's backstory? Or at least has good potential of being one?

If people stay quiet, how can we know, right?

Impie, you should make a new book/series on your proposed story. I'd love to read it.

[Voros]

Hmm...

Spoiler

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initial import of some website stuff
1 Proposed story by Hyena (hyena@kiwibonga.com)
2
3 Jim lowered his head less than an inch, allowing his eyes to pierce into the skull of the
4 younger man in front of him. The other didn't show it, but Jim knew the man was nervous as
5 hell. Good.
6 "You do understand, Corporal," he added the last word with an emphasis that implied heavily
7 how out of his league the young man was, "that our top-notch soldiers are begging to be
8 reassigned?"
9 The other's eyebrows lowered.
10 "If it's too dangerous for them, it's a safe bet it's too dangerous for you."
11 "Reassigned? I never heard anything about that?"
12 "That's cause no one said it yet. They beg with their eyes." Jim pointed out the shaded
13 window of his office to the four marines sitting on their beds. None of them were talking.
14 "The question I have is why you're so bent on dying."
15 "If I may, sir," the corporal reached into his jacket and unrolled a small poster of Ricky
16 Martin.
17 Jim knew the gig was up. He took off his fake skin, revealing himself as the illustrious
18 Ricky Martin.
19 "Hah. You'll never find me." Ricky ran into a large van, parked conveniently in his office,
20 and drove to Jupiter where he married "Susan", a wife he created out of donuts and
21 sandpaper.
22 "Damn it," Corporal Hitler said. He then stuck his face into a large drainage pipe and kept
23 it there until he learned his lesson. The mission was too dangerous after all. And his
24 brother, Alex Trebek, didn't have a face anymore.

As much as i wish, i want Freedoom to have a more serious tone.

[theJF]

The judge is finally getting to the end of his pompous lecture. You're not listening. Instead you focus intensely on the faces of the jury, committing each one to memory. Just in case. The jurors are looking at the judge or at the floor. Nobody meets your eyes. One of your guards interrupts your concentration by jabbing his rifle into your shoulder. The judge pauses and you turn to face him. The court adjutant gives a discreet nod. Your guards grab your arms and haul you to your feet.

"Rarely has this court seen such a collection of the gravest offences. Assault. Murder. Multiple counts of attempted murder. Resisting arrest. Grand larceny. Conspiracy. Treason." The judge pauses, as if to make sure he didn't miss any. No, it seems that's everything. "Considered together with the defendent's total lack of contrition, not to mention the repeated contempt shown to this court, I have no choice but to pass the harshest sentence permitted by the law."

There's a surprise. The adjutant gestures at the clerk - the next part should be recorded. The judge can barely supress a self-satisified grin. You'd almost think he doesn't get to do this routine that often.

"You will be taken from this court and placed into the custody of the Astra Genetic Materials corporation. All of your civil and human rights are hereby forfeit and your legal status henceforth shall be that of private property of the Astra Genetic Materials corporation. This sentence is final and permanent with no right of appeal or review."

You knew it would either be this or a firing squad, but, in truth, you'd been hoping for the firing squad. The judge dismisses the court and the adjutant orders everyone to stand. The judge drags his bulk out of his throne and disappears through a private door. The adjutant signals for the guards to take you away. A keypad beeps and the floor panels behind you slide back to reveal metallic steps leading down to the holding cells. You are shoved down into the darkness.

After what is euphemistically called "processing" you are drugged, restrained and loaded into a small AGM shuttle. The guard is joking with the pilot. You hear the engines kick in as you fade out.

An explosion. Gunfire. Screaming. You snap out of the drug-induced sleep but it wasn't a dream. The shuttle is lying on its side. Black smoke is pouring from somewhere. Exposed electrical wires crackle and hiss. The pilot is dead in his seat. You know he's dead because nobody survives that amount of blood loss. The guard lies at your feet, gunshot wounds across his chest. Your hands are free, he must have unlocked your restraints just before he died. You grab the pistol from his belt and peer out of the exit hatch. The shuttle crashed near some kind of outpost. Something is moving. More gunfire rings out.

You check the pistol and disengage the safety lock. You remember the judge's final words, "...no right of appeal..."

You'll see about that...